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Funny stuff

O'Hare  Approach Control to a 747: "United   329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock,  three miles,  Eastbound."
United  329:"Approach,  I've always wanted  to say this...I've got the little Fokker in sight."


A  DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an  exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San  Jose Tower Noted: "American   751, make a hard right turn at the end of the  runway, if you are able.. If you are not able, take  the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at  the lights and return to the  airport"


One  day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the  tower to hold short of the active runway while a  DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned   around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some  quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the  radio and said, "What  a cute little plane. Did you make it all by  yourself?"
The  Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by,  came back with a real zinger: "I   made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like  yours and I'll have enough parts for another  one."


The  German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only  expect one to know one's gate parking location,  but  how to get there without any assistance from them.  So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747)  listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt  ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign  Speedbird 206.
  Speedbird  206: "   Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! Clear of active  runway."
Ground: "Speedbird  206. Taxi to gate Alpha   One-Seven."
 The  BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a  stop.
Ground:"Speedbird,  do you not know where you  are  going?"
Speedbird  206: "Stand  by, Ground, I'm looking  up our gate location  now."
Ground  (with quite arrogant  impatience):"Speedbird   206, have you not been to Frankfurt  before?"
Speedbird  206 (coolly): "Yes,   twice in 1944, but it was dark --  and  I didn't  land."


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